Funny Story

While in the hospital this past week, Eric and I remembered how he was when he had to have surgery on his hand. I decided I HAD to post this. It's pretty hilarious, especially if you know Eric. About three years ago, Eric was working graves at Home Depot as a stocker. I was about 6 months pregnant with Keira. Anyway, one night (almost time to come home) he was stocking roof flashing. He was putting the last piece up when his hand slipped and the roof flashing slashed his wrist open. He said blood spurted everywhere so he quickly covered it and told someone. Now despite the seriousness of his injury, Eric thought this was great fun (I know...weird). He told me that it was cool to move his hand and be able to see the tendon. I know, gross. So, I get a phone call early that morning and it went something like this....

Eric: "Hey babe, I'm going to be home late."
Me: "Why?"
Eric: "I have to go to the hospital because I slit my wrist."
Me: "On purpose??" (I wasn't really awake)
Eric: "No, no, I'll tell you about when I get home, but I think I'm going to need a few stiches."
Me: "Oh, okay. Hope you feel better."

So, a few hours later Eric comes home with tons of bandages on his arm. He thought he looked like Popeye so he drew an anchor on the bandages. He tells me that it's a bit more serious than he originally thought and that he was going to have to have surgery on it. You see...this wasn't just a shallow little cut on his wrist. It was deep enough that he nicked the artery and could see his tendons and some of the wrist bones. He was "lucky" that in the ER there "happened" to be a hand surgeon that was able to schedule him for surgery that day. We learned that he came within a centimeter of severing a major nerve in his hand. So, he had the surgery that day and now you have the background of a very funny story. He was very loopy from the anethesia and said some hilarious things. Here's two of the funniest.

STORY ONE

Eric: "Where am I?"
Nurse: "You're in post-partum so you can rest and then go home with your wife."
Eric: "Am I DEAD?"
Nurse (looking amused): "No, post-partum is where we bring women who have had their babies."
Eric: "Am I pregnant?? I can't be pregnant right now...it's not a good time for me."

STORY TWO

Nurse: "So, how long have you been married?"

Eric couldn't remember numbers, but realized that this question was important to his future happiness. He started to think really hard....

Eric (with a big silly grin on his face): "Not long enough."

Too bad he can't be that smooth when he's "sober". :)